im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
