i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
