If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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