the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
