ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize