so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
