Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
