1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
