I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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