Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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