i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
