I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We're too hungover to prance.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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