My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
