its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he fucked my hip out of place.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Mom said you looked used
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
