I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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