I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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