Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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