she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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