if i can run in heels then i can drive
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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