I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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