I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
