their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
