My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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