stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
