What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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