i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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