matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
