I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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