I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
