HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
