Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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