how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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