I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
