Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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