GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
