I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
