:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
