When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
