You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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