You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
