Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
