yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
