Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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