Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
