More tranny stories later!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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