Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning

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(210): View more from Texas

I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink

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(847): View more from Illinois

Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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(714): View more from California

I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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(330): View more from Ohio

We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.

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(425): View more from Washington

I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."

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(623): View more from Arizona

FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.

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