Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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