You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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