Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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