ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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