No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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