Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
