You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
