K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
