Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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