16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize