There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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