I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize