I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
