I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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