she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
