Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
