Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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