And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Randomize
