I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we're making bets on your personal life
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize