a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
