just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
