Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My pussy is not your playground.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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