apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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