Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
