I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
